Thursday, October 2, 2008

Independence. . . .

My husband's family is very unique in that they're all dominant, independent personalities. Maybe that has something to do with my father-in-law being a lawyer. It's something that I admire and drew me to my husband. I also desired to give this independence, and assertiveness to my children, little did I know how much harder it would make my life;) So here are some little blurps on how my children have asserted thier independence.
We lived in Utah when Meg started kindergarten. In Utah kindergarten was half-day and they all came home on one bus. The ride to school from my house in our car was 2 minutes, the ride home on the bus was half an hour. One day Meg decided she was going to walk home because she thought she could get there faster walking. I of course was waiting at the bus stop, pregnant and with Erika and Czar, when the bus driver informed me she was walking and that Meg had said I said it was okay for her to walk home. I run(wobble) home as fast as I can and get in the van the whole time thinking how i was going to lay into her about walking home and lieing to the bus driver, etc. I see her about a 10 minute walk away from my house turned the van opened the door and saw her face. I knew then to keep my mouth shut, she had learned her lesson. She had walked 35 minutes in the cold. A woman came up to my window and asked if I was her mom and that she was worried about her and following her and the utility guy was following her, I was too much in shock to really thank her, I hope she knows how much I appreciated it.
Erika has always had spunk. She started talking way early, and soon thereafter started giving everyone lectures. I remember her telling grandpa, "Grandpa you can't do that!" with her hands on her hips. She also is my dramatic one, the type that would throw a major tantrum and throw herself to the floor and cry and scream. She's the one I have to "discuss" everything with. A typical discussion with Erika is,
Mom: Erika you need to clean up the family room

Erika: Why, Czar and Meg aren't cleaning it up.

Mom: Erika you need to clean up the famliy room

Erika: I always have to clean up, why can't they do it

Mom: (meaner voice, clenched teeth) Erika you need to clean up or you have to clean up the family room and vacuum your room.

Erika: But I want to go outside.

Mom: Okay the family room and vacuum up your room.

Erika: Fine, crying running to her room, slam door, then crying, then "I don't like this family, everybody's mean to me, . . . ."
But I do have to give her credit she does the work and then usually gives me a note saying she's sorry. She has a mind of her own.

Czar is independent in actions more than anything. He started out as our "headbanger" I don't know why he did this, and yes I talked to the pediatrician about it. He would bang his head on the wall when he went to sleep. He would bang his head on the carseat (we have video of it). He would bang his head against the high chair so much that Dad got fed up and cut the top of it off, so that there was nothing to bang against. He's the child who was told when he got the splint and the marker to write on the splint, that he could only write on the splint because it was a permanent marker. He was disposed of the marked when he wrote all over the hymnl at church on Sunday. Good news though, the doctor thinks his bone was just bruised so no cast unless it keeps hurting.

Jarom, Jarom, Jarom. Jarom has more energy then the Tazmanian Devil and eats just as much. Jarom is the child who gets more hyper the more tired he is. So when he turned 2 he decided to start getting out of bed at bedtime and turn the light on and off, on and off, and he'd come out of his room, etc. I tried the super nanny stuff to put him back in bed an leave, for weeks to no avail. He would come out of his room about 10 times a night and I would go in to feed the baby at 2 am and find the light on. So we took drastic measures, put a child safety lock on the inside of the door so Jarom could not get out and we took the light bulbs out of the light. We found him on the floor by the door asleep most nights for a while, but now he has finally mostly grown out of it! He got the light bulbs back! I think he just doesn't want to miss anything and so doesn't want to go to sleep.

Hyrum is too little still, but I'm starting to see the tantrums begin, oh, I do remember the other day, Daddy found him in the laundry room trying to poop in his diaper (he likes privacy). Daddy sneaked up behind him and just watched him for a while, when Hyrum turned around he said, "go away" It starts.

Keep me in your prayers:) Really, I'm so grateful to be their mom. They bring me so much joy. I wish I could be perfect for them, but I'm not. My motto as a mom comes from finding Nemo, Dori says, "Just keep swimming". On those days when I'm about to cry, I try to laugh, it's easier. I'm so proud of my kiddos, they're learning and becoming kind and generous and giving. To all the mom's out there, Just keep swimming! As I've said to some of my friends, they can win some battles, but I'm going to win the war;)


MackSlackers said...

I have to say that Rick and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE your children. They make us smile, we are so lucky to have gotten to know them during date nights. Thank you for sharing them with us. I laughed when you told the story of Erica becuase that happens all the time at our house, but my response usually goes like this
me-"Clean up the room"
1 of the boys-"I didn't make the mess!"
me-"I didn't ask you who made the mess, I asked you to clean the room!"
Gotta love those Kids!

Rachael said...

Kristen, did you ever know that you're my hero? You're everything I wish I could be. I could fly higher than an eagle, for you are the wind beneath my wings.

LOL Seriously, you are absolutely amazing. It sounds like you have your hands full, but if anyone is up to the challenge, you are. You're the best!!

wendys said...

I love your family pictures! They are so cute. I think your Meg looks exactly like you! You are such a good mom, I'm sure you have tons more patience than me! Your kids are lucky to have you. I bet they just as much like you as like Czar.

ArchRay said...

No wonder Erika and Kaitlin get along. She is the SAME. It usually goes into a full blown battle before she finally does what is asked. We have had to sit down with her several times (after a "WAR" with her) and talk about her responsibilities and how everyone in the family has them. Fun, fun, fun! I don't know how you do it with 5 of them.

Louise n Tim said...

Ditto what Rachel said. You have beautiful, sweet children just like you. (Can we steal some of their energy?)